a walk in the park.

I should have posted this a few weeks ago, but I guess it's true when people say "Better late than never". I had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of Spring so I could get out of the house and into the Great Outdoors! There is nothing like taking a hike in the Valley in springtime.

So my girlfriend, Heidi, and I packed a bag and headed up to Shenandoah National Park. We didn't quite have a plan set, but we knew we weren't going to let the day go to waste. We settled on the South River Falls trail (which has always been one of my favorites) and commenced our trek! The sun was bright and there was a cool breeze blowing - God was definitely planning to show off His creation.

Along the way, we both decided to get a bit adventurous. Heidi scaled a massive rock-face, while I maneuvered my way across a treacherous bridge...okay, maybe we weren't staring death in the face. But we sure felt like intense wilderness voyagers.

There's something about hiking that always puts me at ease. Now, I can't sit here and say I've always been the outdoor enthusiast, but in the past few years it's something I've grown to love and appreciate. I have my best friend and college roommate, Jeremy, to thank for it. It's hard not to be blown away by nature. When you really take a moment to take in the magnitude of it all, it's easy to be made humble.

For me, taking hikes or spending quiet time in the presence of my Creator and His creation, puts me back in a centered place. The fact that the One who molded mountains and valleys, trees and streams, also molded you and me is astounding. Whew! It kinda hurts my head just thinking about it. We are incredibly small in the grand scheme of things. Yet, God reaches out to us, loves us, and offers us lives of grandeur as if we were the most important things on Earth! And when I dig deeper, I find that, in fact, we are the most important thing to Him. He is our Father and He searches for and pursues us constantly. That's HUGE!

I want to leave you with some more pictures and the challenge to get out! Take a hike. Go explore the wonderful creation laid outside for us. You definitely won't regret it. And maybe one day in the future we can enjoy a walk in the park together. 

  

Looking out over South River Falls.

Jesus Calling.

It's Hump Day! And I am supa pumped to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I love having an awesome 9-5 job with an air conditioned office, but I'm also looking forward to the weekend.

It's been a very interesting week, well month. I said goodbye to a job that I loved, and started a new one that offers more stability (and benefits). The transition has been a bit overwhelming but I'm acclimating to the change in pace. Heidi, my beautiful girlfriend, has been extremely supportive and should be given an award for dealing with my complaints and stress. Now on to the point of this post...

During my lunch-break today, I was reading through my daily devotional - Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young). The message was as follows:

When things don't go as you would like, accept the situation immediately. If you indulge in feelings of regret, they can easily spill over the line into resentment. Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under my mighty hand. Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding.
I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. In Me you have everything you need, both for this life and for the life yet to come. Don't let the impact of the world shatter your thinking or draw you away from focusing on Me. The ultimate challenge is to keep fixing your eyes on Me, no matter what is going on around you. When I am central in your thinking, you are able to view circumstances from My perspective.

Umm....YES! What an amazing conviction! It's human nature to nit-pick and complain about everything little thing we don't like. I'm definitely guilty of it. Even though I have been thoroughly blessed, my human nature takes over and I find something to be unhappy about. And then I sit down for some quiet time with God and He smacks me across the face and tells me to WAKE UP!

I love that! I love how this ever-evolving relationship with Him can bring me back down to reality and remind me that He has everything, absolutely everything, under control. And the message is true. The hardest challenge is keeping our eyes fixed on Him and trusting in His all-knowing way. I urge you to check out the Scripture associated with this devotional, and find time to lay any worries on the One who has the power to make them all go away!

Scripture: 1 Peter 5:6; John 14:6

a lesson in Love.

November 3, 2012. A day that might seem like an ordinary day to many of you. However, to me, it is the day that I began one of my greatest adventures.

For a long while, I had become convinced that relationships, let alone LOVE, just weren't for me. I hadn't had much luck in the category and figured I probably was in the small percentage of men who grow up to become the creepy guy who's house all the kids were afraid to go near, fearful they'd never make it home alive. It's a tough thought to swallow, but I just merely accepted my fate and moved on.

Much to my surprise, God had another plan for me.

As I sat at home watching the X Factor with my roommates, my phone let loose a buzz. "Hi, Phil!" The girl on the other end of the message was surely as nervous as I was. (This "encounter" had been set up the day before by her sister.) I was too nervous to respond, but knew I needed to make a witty reply in order to keep her interested.

"Hey there chica!"   Smooth. I know.

I would love to post all the messages we exchanged that night, but I don't think Google will allow me that large of a blog post. All you need to know is that nearly seven months later, that preppy blonde is still sending the butterflies in my stomach flying.

I think it's easy for most guys to misinterpret God's hope for relationships between men and women. "Relationship" is the most important thing to God. Think about it! We were created by love and through love to be loved and to give love. Love changes us. It creates a reaction that provides energy, both emotional and spiritual, for life. Relationship is intended by God to be an experience that exposes us, transforms us, and mends us.

This woman that God has placed in my life has taught me these things and more. I think of how closed off I allowed myself to get, and how with love I accepted vulnerability. I remember the times when I hid true feelings, and how with love I became who He created me to be. I look back on the moments of brokenness, and how with love I have been pieced back together.

I have been blessed by the past seven months. And to ignore that truth would make me a fool. I know that the Lord has much more for me to learn, and He will surely place moments before me that teach me to be humble. But I rest confidently on His promise to never lead me down a road or path I am not capable of meneuvering.

No Excuses.

To say that I have fallen off the radar would be a HUGE understatement; my last post on here dates back all the to October which is highly unacceptable! While my absence from my blog may seem unwarranted, let me assure you that I have had many good reasons.

My life has been nothing short of interesting, consisting of various twists and turns, roadblocks and moments of joy and delight. I've walked along paths I never imagined for myself. And I have faced obstacles that have undoubtedly shaken my faith to its core. Yet, all the while my God has stood faithfully by my side, flowing words of encouragement into my wondering heart.

I now am finding myself back at the keyboard, excited about adventures that lie before me. My hope is that you all will return here often to hear the stories, see the pictures and, ultimately, marvel as the Lord's plan unfolds before me.

I look forward to sharing with you all again very soon. Until then, enjoy an adventure of your own.


Fondly,

Phiz

leap of faith.

I have this friend.  Some of you may know him.  His name is Peter.  And one day, (in Matthew 14:22-32) the Lord spoke through Jesus, and told Peter to step out of a boat and walk on water. Through a leap of faith, he walked on the water, but not without stumbling first.  However, despite his stumble, he still defied the laws of nature.

If someone were to ask me to describe my summer working at a Boy Scout Camp, I would have to say:  IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH. I worked as a whitewater raft guide, on the New River Gorge in Fayetteville, WV.  On the days I wasn’t rafting, I was working at Camp Powhatan in Pulaski, VA.  My employer…the Boy Scouts of America.  Now I myself was never a scout, but I have many friends who were, and my best friend happens to be an Eagle Scout.

I set off not knowing exactly what I would be getting myself into, but that’s what intrigued me!  It was a leap of faith.  For the first time, I was up against something that I had no prior knowledge of.  I spent two weeks at raft guide training, which proved to be the most difficult two weeks of my life, complete with losing 15 pounds.  My fellow trainees and I completed 28 trips in 14 days, along with swift water rescue training and various other certifications.  But I believe the hardest test, was the test against my faith.

During my prior semester in school, my faith grew immensely and I’d like to say that I had done a fairly good job at being an okay example to others who may be struggling with their faith.  However, when you’re forced to live in a 5x6 tent for two weeks, things begin to look pretty dim.  Now I knew I was strong enough to complete the training, but when the physical and mental exhaustion set in, I began to lose faith.  Faith in myself, and faith in God. I knew that He was there watching over me, but I sometimes wondered if He was actually helping me out any. I fought with these thoughts for a couple days and then as the second week drew to an end, I was dealt a huge revelation.

One of my close friends, Grace McAbee, a fellow Halifax native was there training with me.  Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Why on earth would a girl want to put herself in such a tough situation?”  She came because of her own leap of faith.

In order to become a raft guide, you have to pass two tests.  So as Grace began her second test of training, spirits were high.  But as she dropped into the first warm-up rapid of the day, something went wrong.  She lost her brace and slipped out of the raft and into a re-circulating hole.  After being held under for nearly a minute, she finally emerged gasping for breath.  Her face said it all.  The lack of color in her skin, and the short gasps were enough to make even the most experienced guide tremble.

I talked to her later that day, and she had this to say:  “Lamentations 3: 54-58.”

Ok?  I don’t really know where that came from, but I’ll take it. When I got back to my tent, I grabbed my Bible and looked up the passage.

"The waters closed over my head, and I thought I was about to be cut off.  I called your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit.  You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.”  You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.”  O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life."

What else is there to say?  From the depths of the pit, God called out to Grace and said do not fear; have faith!  Faith is defined as believing in something that cannot necessarily be seen.  Even though I sometimes felt like God wasn’t directly helping me, I soon realized that through Grace’s accident, God was telling me not to worry.  He was there!

Getting the chance to work at Boy Scout camp, gave me the amazing opportunity to meet a lot of great people.  I was privileged to get to teach many scouts, a lot of whom I can still remember their names.  During week two, I met a kid named Knick.  He was the class clown of the troop and by the end of the week, I felt like I had finally gotten across to him.

All week he had been getting picked on by the older guys, so needless to say he didn’t trust them very much.   He was deathly afraid of heights as well.  Now in my program, New River Adventure, we have a two days devoted to Low Cope and High Cope.  Low Cope teaches team-building, while High Cope pushes you to reach and overcome personal goals.  So when our High Cope Day arrived Knick was very apprehensive.  He ended up completing the course fine and had a great rest of the week.

After the closing campfire, we all decided to meet up to say our goodbyes.  We went around the circle and stated our high of the week and what we had learned, everyone except for Knick.  So we all eventually said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.  As I was walking away, Knick walked up to me with tears in his eyes and said: “Phil, thank you.”

“For what?”  I asked him, confused.

“For teaching me how to trust.”

I can honestly say that nothing feels better than hearing someone tell you that you made an impact in their life.

Knick placed his faith in me, and in turn placed his faith in God.  He saw something in me that he found easy to relate to, and I owe this God.  God gave me the opportunity to teach someone younger than me how to have faith in something greater than me.  Knick grew a little closer to God that day, whether he knew it or not.

Now, while Knick’s story will forever remain with me, I have to admit that the pinnacle of my summer came during the final week of camp.  You see I have this new friend.  You don’t know him, but his name is James.  James has cerebral pausey and has never been able to swim, climb stairs without help, or even climb a ladder.

I met James on a Sunday, and by Wednesday, he had made an impact on my life that I will forever carry.  I was working the High Cope course on Wednesday and James and his father had come to give it a try.  While his dad was a little nervous about the course, James jumped right in line.  His only goal was to make to the top of what’s called the Giant’s Ladder.  The Giant’s Ladder is the type of ladder where the rungs get farther and farther apart the high you go.  Now after about 15 minutes, he was 40 feet in the air, having completed his goal.

With a smile on his face, he continued on with the course, much to everyone’s surprise.  Pushing through a few slips here and there, James managed to make it all the way to what’s called “The Leap of Faith” (it’s two platforms about 3 ½ feet apart that you have to jump across).  This is the sixth element of the course.  He looked down at me, with his eyes wide and full of excitement, and a huge grin on his face, and asked, “You got me?”

“Yes,” I replied.

He then responded with, “You sure you got me?”

I think James embodies the way Christians view God.  We want to do so many adventurous things, and we set these lofty goals for ourselves, and yet we always have trouble trusting.  We come to the edge of some mountain in life, and we ask, “You got me?”  “Are you sure you got me?”

The answer is, YES!  He’s got us!  Most Christians are so afraid of what someone is going to think of them that they can’t just trust…they can’t jump!  Sure, we go to church every Sunday and occasionally we say a prayer or two for someone in need.  But how far from that do we actually go?  How much more are we really willing to put out there?

My guess is that we’d all love to do more than we do, but it’s just not convenient with our schedules.  Or maybe our excuse is, “Well so-and-so isn’t doing it, so why should I?”  When God puts us in challenging situations, we cower away with our tails tucked between our legs.  But why?  Because we’re far too afraid, and comfortable with our lives, to trust that God knows what He’s doing.

After about three minutes of going back and forth with James, I finally looked up at him and asked, “James, do you trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you trust that God is gonna keep you safe?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then, what’s there to be afraid of?”

And he jumped.  It only took him about two seconds to make it to the other side, but for everyone watching, time seemed to stand still (as cliché as it sounds).  It was a once in a lifetime moment that I will never forget.  I tear up now just thinking about it.  Even though James didn’t complete the entire course, it doesn’t matter.  He accomplished his goal and then some.  James taught me something that day that I didn’t learn from reading about Peter in the Bible.

He took a leap of faith that day, and it’s one that I think we all can learn from.  It’s not about whether you guide rafts through class V rapids, teach kids about team-building, or sell hamburgers at McDonalds.  It’s all about taking an adventure.  Setting a goal and reaching it.  Like Peter walking on water, or Knick trusting his fellow scouts, or James climbing a ladder, it’s about confronting a challenging situation and putting trust in the Lord.

So the next time you find yourself on the edge of a high cliff, or at the head of an unmarked trail, will you choose to turn and go the other way, or take a leap of faith?

ode to the nice guys.

The following post was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in COD to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

i can't sing loud enough.

A couple years ago, a good friend of mine introduced me to a song that made me speechless.  Phil Wickham, a contemporary Christian artist, released his album Heaven and Earth, and with it a song that embraces you with all of the wonder and majesty that Christ has to offer.

Cielo, which is Spanish for Heaven, is a simple yet beautiful song that is raw in its melodies and lyrics.  The first time I heard it, I was simply taken back by what he was saying and how the words were truly what I have been feeling in my heart.

i'm walking through the bright white gates
breathing in and out your grace
all around me melodies rise
that echo with the joy inside
so i start to sing
but i cant sing loud enough
i can't sing loud enough
when i'm singing for You my God
i can't sing loud enough
i can't sing loud enough
when i'm singing for You my God

Knowing that even in the loudest of circumstances, God can still hear my call to him, is something that is crazy to think about.  I know personally I often find myself getting caught up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle, and at times forget to take a minute and deep breath, and just be in the presence of God.

with a thunder roll and a brilliant light
your glory boasts and the heavens shine
the saints and angels stand in awe
captured by the beauty of it all
so i fall to my knees
but i can't bow low enough
i can't bow low enough
at the vision of You my God
i can't bow low enough
i can't bow low enough
at the vision of You my God

There are times when all I want to do is fall to my knees and simply praise God for everything He has given me and blessed me with.  And it's difficult to express exactly how you feel, but I've found ways to be "exuberant" towards God, without necessarily falling down to my knees in the middle of the office.  I look at it as I can do the exact same thing on the inside.  I can shout and jump and scream as loudly as I want (internally) and know that God still hears me.

i can't hold it all inside
i'm reaching for the One who brought me out of death and into life
but i can't lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when i'm reaching for You my God
i can't lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when i'm reaching for You my God
oh i'm reaching for You my God
i'm reaching for You
i'm reaching for You
i'm reaching for You my God

I've recently been attempting to spiritually "reach" higher and higher.  I strive to get closer and more intimate with God everyday.  I know we all desire a closer relationship with Him, and often times we find ourselves slipping.  However, as long as we focus on our personal relationship with Christ, then everything else will fall into place.  The reason we often slip, is because we get side-tracked and worried about other things.

I'm setting out to live a more Christ-filled life than I have been.  I want to sing louder...I want to bow lower...I want to reach higher.
Check out the video to the song, Cielo by Phil Wickham here!