50/50

My last few posts have all started out the same way - me apologizing for my sporadic blogging. This became apparent to me only after my beautiful fiancé, Heidi, pointed it out to me during a recent visit she made down to South Carolina. Thus, per her request, I will stop apologizing for said "sporadic blogging". You see, I have a very good and understandable reason as to why my posts have been few and far between recently.

On top of picking up and moving my life down to Greenwood, SC, the past year has proven to hold a number of stand-alone moments. One for instance is one that I've written about most recently. My engagement to the ever-lovely and all-loving Heidi Logan.

Our engagement has been one that has had it's share of ups and downs - mainly due to the whole long-distance issue. However, it has been full of even more moments of encouragement and joy. In case you don't already follow me on Instagram, please head on over and give me a "follow" - @phizkhalifa. On there you will find that I have been posting a photo everyday in an effort to countdown the final 100 days of our engagement. And just the other day, I reached "50", and boy has the number "50" never looked so good!

The photo itself was nothing special - an image of a brochure I was working on - but I couldn't help but take a moment and stare at that number for a brief second. So much emotion had filled the previous 50 days and I was overwhelmed with all that would be held within the following 50. Thoughts rushed into my mind of "Am I ready?", "Have I done everything I need to do?", "Will I be a good husband?". These fears are ones that plague me often, and yet I am reminded of Philippians 2:3 that states, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose." God is working in me, preparing me to be exactly who He knows me to be. All I have to do is follow and obey.

I am so blessed to have spent the past 50+ days engaged to a woman who strives daily in her personal relationship with the Lord, all while encouraging me in my own. And I expectantly look ahead as we draw closer to beginning our lives together and build our marriage on a firm foundation.

finding calmness in the midst of "chaos".

It's been over a month since my last post, in which I spoke of my engagement to Heidi and my views of our upcoming marriage. And while my excitement grows daily, I would not be honest if I wasn't forthcoming with all the messiness.

If you're reading this and you're married, you probably remember what I'm talking about. If you're reading this and you're currently engaged, you probably relate and my hope is that you'll find that you're not in this alone. And lastly, if you're reading this and you're thinking about getting married...

RUN!

I'm obviously joking, and couldn't recommend it more! This time between dating and marriage has been one filled with individual growth, exciting conversations, in-depth discussions on topics ranging from children to throw pillows (registering has been my favorite part, so far). Our nightly talks have seen a mixture of laughter and tears, happiness and anger. Yet, in the middle of choosing dresses and tuxedoes, we have managed to find stillness in the One who brought us together. I cannot speak for Heidi, and I won't attempt to. So, for now, I will briefly share my learnings from the past few months.

For the past couple weeks, it has seemed, to me, that our conversations have consisted of disagreements. I have felt discouraged and, at times, overwhelmed. And when I feel like I am approaching the edge of my wit, I am drawn in to my Father's voice.

As I was driving to Virginia a couple weeks ago, I sat singing along to my iPod. As the song I was belting out ended, a new song began. Now, it may not sound manly, but get over it. The music that filled my Jeep was the song that I have sang to Heidi on countless occasions. "Hold On" by Michael Bublé has become a theme song for our relationship. It's gotten us through tough times and has inspired numerous spontaneous slow dances in the living room. 

As I heard the song for the umpteenth time, I was reminded of the girl who stole my heart and hasn't let go. I was reminded that despite our disagreements and frustrations, this woman has voluntarily agreed to do life with me. And I was reminded of something else. I was reminded of my Father's love. I was reminded of His abundant grace and steadfast presence. How, despite my frustration with Him, He has ahold of my heart and will never let go.

I mean, come on people! That's extraordinary! It's so awesome that in the midst of our seemingly chaotic lives, we can find calmness in the Creator. I am humbled, even now, as I look at how richly my life has been blessed. I push on, happily and excitedly, through the chaos. Because I acknowledge the gift of that mayhem in my life. And I look expectantly into the future as our marriage draws closer, knowing that the speed bumps and disarray are all blessings!

my greatest gift. my greatest adventure.

Most of you know, and for those of you who must live under a rock listen up, but.... I'M ENGAGED!

Sixteen months ago, a beautiful, passionate woman came into my life and turned it all upside down. Heidi Logan, a kindergarten teacher I met through my work with Harrisonburg High School's Fine Arts department, is unlike anyone I've been blessed enough to know. We’ve guided our way through the highs and lows of relationships. We’ve staggered and struggled. We’ve cried, laughed, bickered, and smiled. We’ve supported one another in each of our endeavors. We’ve ran together, stuffed our faces with chicken baskets together, and sang at the tops of our lungs together. We've tackled road trips together, family vacations, and at times have been down-right annoyed with one another. We've danced in the living room, and respected one another. We’ve journeyed through this past year and ultimately, every day, chosen to grow in love with each other.

And when Heidi answered "Yes" to my proposal, I immediately became that timeless cliché - a knight in shining armor. The fact of that matter is that as soon as this beautiful woman I cherish became the fiancé I promise to cherish and honor till death do us part, my responsibility changed from taking care of myself, to protecting her.

I love the way John Eldredge puts it in his book, Wild At Heart:

"There is nothing more inspiring to a man as a beautiful woman. She'll make you want to charge the castle, slay the giant, leap across parapets."

It is a desired burnt deep inside a man. A desire, a need, to not just fight, but to have someone to fight for. And with Heidi, I've found my greatest reason to fight the battle and have set out on my greatest adventure.

Now, Heidi and I aren't married yet, and I cannot sit here and say that we have it all figured out. But I do know that we are learning! In our daily devotions and conversations, we learn more about one another and, ultimately, about our relationship - the good, the bad and the ugly aspects.

Marriage is a commitment – a promise – to God that you vow to love someone like Christ first loved us. In the most intimate, demanding, all-encompassing way. A vow to serve them and unselfishly love them as Christ served and unselfishly loved us. To carry their troubles. To take the blows of their shortcomings. To bear the mocking of their sins and struggles. To put their well-being ahead of your own to the point of brokenness, so that we can ultimately rise in love. We do this in hopes of obtaining a greater understanding of the magnitude of the Gospel and a greater appreciation for the power of what Jesus did on our behalf.

I was reminded a few days ago by our Senior Pastor at the church I work at, that marriage is a small, intimate reflection of God's love for us. It is His gift to us. And that it is something that should never be taken lightly. Marriage is the promise to accept someone and love them like God loves us, everyday.

I am excited about marrying Heidi. She is God's precious gift to me. She is the fair maiden locked away in a tower. She is my damsel in distress. And I get to be the man fighting for her honor. (Sometimes I picture myself as Shrek going to rescue Princess Fiona.)

We are not perfect people. We fail daily. But we are both committed to following a  PERFECT God who showed us the perfect example of how to love.

It is mind-boggling, to me, that God would allow me – dramatic, rude, baggage-carrying, selfish me – to have the honor and privilege of loving and caring for His beautiful gift, Heidi. I know that the moment I start believing that I’m capable of selflessly and unconditionally loving her, I will fail. But it brings me so much joy and excitement to know that I don’t have to go at it alone.

zozi.

Because the name of my blog is 'Adventures of Phiz', I thought it would be fitting to share with you guys an awesome website I found! ZOZI is a website devoted to promoting adventure and helping you get there. It's a lot like Groupon but some of the adventures and gear are FREE! And what's even cooler, is that everything is catered to you based on where you live.

How cool is that?!

If you'd like you can access ZOZI using my personal account, by clicking here! You definitely do not want to miss out on some really sweet adventures and some sick adventure gear.

Enjoy my friends! And until next time...

be adventurous!

from called to equipped.

It's been almost two months since I moved to Greenwood, SC and started a new chapter. These weeks have been filled with much excitement and growth. I have been pushed and pulled in new ways and owe it all to the grace of God. I have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support, both from my family and friends in Virginia, but also from those I have met here in Greenwood.

I wanted to sit down and take some time to write this post to tell you about a change I recently went through. It's one that may seem small while you read this, but in the moment it was drastic and life-changing.

A few weeks ago, I was going through my new office and cleaning out drawers and cabinets from my predecessor. As I rummaged through old files, I came across a large black binder. In it I found pages and pages of letters and resumes from people who had applied for the job I now hold. At first, I closed it and threw it on the ground, knowing it was something I probably was never meant to see. But human nature took over and I opened it. Looking through the names and resumes, I was overcome with humility.

Why me?

These people carried with them degrees from huge universities and seminaries. They had years of experience under their belts, families and marriages to draw from, and letters of recommendation that could, seriously, be turned into a book on "How to do Youth Ministry Right!"

As I closed the binder and put it to the side to be thrown out, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the question, 'Why me?' I mean, why would God bring me here if there were people much more qualified for the position? What was going through the minds of the people who made the decision to bring me here? I couldn't help but to feel small and insignificant. In comparison to these people that filled the binder, I was the low man on the totem pole. I searched for a reason and when I couldn't seem to find one in myself, I turned to the One who could. My Creator.

As I prayed, I asked God to help me understand why I was here. I wanted to know why He would bring me here when I was so unequipped.

And then it hit me. I was right. I was unequipped. But only by my own standards.

I flipped through my Bible to Philippians 1:5-6. It read, "...because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." And Phil. 2:13 which says, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose."

God had brought me here to Greenwood for a reason. He had called someone who may not have had the most experience or the highest degree. But He was equipping me despite those earthly standards. He was working in me to fulfill His good purpose.

I think it's a normal thing for us to become overwhelmed in new situations. It's easy to make ourselves believe that we are not prepared or that we are not worthy of being where we've been led. However, when we hold firm to the truth that God works in us for good, we are able to move forward in doing the work He set forth for us to do. He is giving us all the proper and necessary tools we need to carry out our calling.

We (myself included) must remember that God does not called the equipped. He equips the called. And that He is working in us to fulfill His good purpose.

i stink...

1...at writing blogs.

I think it's safe to say that I probably, more than likely, should not be the main contributor to a blog. But, alas, it is what it is and thus here I am...contributing. And before I continue on with my thoughts I want to apologize for the large gaps of time between my posts. Sometimes the adventures I take lead me away from my computer (or at least that's the excuse I'm going to use). But now onto the good stuff...


2...at being patient.

I get this flaw from my late great-grandfather who was, quite possibly, the most impatient person I've ever known. For the past few months I've wrestled with what I'm doing. Whether that be in work or in play. The question I ask myself is, "What am I doing with my life? How am I being used? How am I being a witness?" These questions run rampid and force me to take long, hard looks in the mirror. I can't help but wonder what God is preparing me for. My impatient spirit longs for the answers and screams "Just tell me what to do! Show me where to go!!" And with those thoughts, come the questions: "Will I be ready? Will I be good enough?"

3...at being confident.

The questions that race through my head at night have most definitely taken their toll on my confidence. But in the moments when I can sit quietly with my Father, I'm reminded of Philippians 1:5-6 where Paul writes, "because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." My prayer is that, going forward, this be my heart's cry.

4...at being brave.

In response to being unsure of where I'm at and what I'm doing, I decided to venture out and actively pursue God's calling in my life. I know that He has blessed me with a passion for youth ministry and a love of spreading His Word. So I put myself out there, and man has He responded in BIG ways! The doors (and windows) that have been opened hold some unknown, yet exciting, adventures. And while I welcome the next chapter in my life, my human nature still creates a bit of fear of what is ahead. Pair with these thoughts the questions from earlier (section 2), and you get a vicious cycle.

And while I realize and admit these faults, I humbly welcome my Father's grace and mercy. And with those, the vicous cycle of fear, doubtfulness and impatience that Satan has thrown my way is banished. I embrace the adventure He is unfolding before me and am excited for the journey ahead. While my blog skills may not improve much (if any), I am convinced that the things I "stink" at will slowly begin to morph into ways to bring Him the glory.

I cannot wait to share with you all more of what the Lord has laid on my heart, and the plans He is making known to me. Until my next post, be adventurous!

surf. sand. and a helluva good time.

Anyone who really knows me can stand up for me when I say that the beach is seriously one of my favorite places! There is absolutely nothing like sitting in a chair in the sun with the waves rushing in and knowing that I have no where to be. Ahhhh....relaxation!

A couple weeks ago, Heids and I were blessed enough to join my family in Myrtle Beach for a week of sun, sand and good times. There were 23 of us staying in our house, and though things were crammed at times we made it work. With the beach only a couple hundred yards away, I knew this week would hold a ton of memories. So, instead of overwhelming you with tons of details that you'll probably just skim over, I've decided to post some of my favorite pictures from the week. I'll add in the link to the full album down at the bottom too!

Enjoy!

These two.. #bff

My main lil homie - cousin Caleb

Surfing with my niece, Hayden

Heidi and I searching for "wildlife"

My parents renewed their vows for their 25th Anniversary!

My cousin, Brooke, and her boyfriend, Steven

Ready for our "big kids' night out"

The backyard

I seriously have the cutest niece EVER!

I hope you all enjoyed this sneak peek into our week at Myrtle Beach. Feel free to take a look at the rest album by clicking here! And remember to leave comments below and check back often for more fun with Phiz!

Until next time, be adventurous.

paddle faster. i hear banjos.

Well it's has definitely taken me longer than expected to get the post up, but I didn't want to publish it without some pictures. After all, what's a blog without some sweet pics to look at?!

Last month, my girlfriend, Heidi, and I took a trip down to my hometown, South Boston, to visit with my family. This wasn't just any ordinary trip to see family though. No, friends, this was a big step in our relationship. During our weekend in Southern VA, we made plans to go on a big family canoe trip! I was a little nervous about whether or not she would paddle any (which she ended up not), while she was more worried about bugs, snakes, fish with fangs, rapids, etc....Needless to say, we were definitely in for an adventure!

Sorry for the finger in the picture... #fail

We set out on the Staunton River at Long Island (Virginia - not New York) Saturday morning, equipped with enough food and drinks to survive a voyage on the Oregon Trail. (Do you guys remember that computer game?) It wasn't long before Heids was lounged back in the front of our double kayak and I was propelling us down river.

Along the way we hit all of our usual stops, like Jump Rock, Lunch Rock and the crowd-favorite "Tree"!

My brother rocking Jorts

Too much fun!

Looking back on our time on the river, it's impossible not to smile and reminisce on how much fun we had. Though we all suffered some scrapes and insane sunburns, what stands out is the overwhelming feeling of laughter. Heids and I are anxiously looking forward to our next trip down the river. Don't tell her, but I think she's slowly coming around to accepting her adventurous rugged side!

In the meantime, I hope to see each of you getting out and enjoying an adventure or two of your own. I love hearing from you about what crazy things you get into, and suggestions for my next outing. Keep em' coming!! Stay tuned for another post sometime today with some details from our trip to Myrtle Beach; I'm really pumped to share it with you guys!

Until then, be adventurous.

a walk in the park.

I should have posted this a few weeks ago, but I guess it's true when people say "Better late than never". I had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of Spring so I could get out of the house and into the Great Outdoors! There is nothing like taking a hike in the Valley in springtime.

So my girlfriend, Heidi, and I packed a bag and headed up to Shenandoah National Park. We didn't quite have a plan set, but we knew we weren't going to let the day go to waste. We settled on the South River Falls trail (which has always been one of my favorites) and commenced our trek! The sun was bright and there was a cool breeze blowing - God was definitely planning to show off His creation.

Along the way, we both decided to get a bit adventurous. Heidi scaled a massive rock-face, while I maneuvered my way across a treacherous bridge...okay, maybe we weren't staring death in the face. But we sure felt like intense wilderness voyagers.

There's something about hiking that always puts me at ease. Now, I can't sit here and say I've always been the outdoor enthusiast, but in the past few years it's something I've grown to love and appreciate. I have my best friend and college roommate, Jeremy, to thank for it. It's hard not to be blown away by nature. When you really take a moment to take in the magnitude of it all, it's easy to be made humble.

For me, taking hikes or spending quiet time in the presence of my Creator and His creation, puts me back in a centered place. The fact that the One who molded mountains and valleys, trees and streams, also molded you and me is astounding. Whew! It kinda hurts my head just thinking about it. We are incredibly small in the grand scheme of things. Yet, God reaches out to us, loves us, and offers us lives of grandeur as if we were the most important things on Earth! And when I dig deeper, I find that, in fact, we are the most important thing to Him. He is our Father and He searches for and pursues us constantly. That's HUGE!

I want to leave you with some more pictures and the challenge to get out! Take a hike. Go explore the wonderful creation laid outside for us. You definitely won't regret it. And maybe one day in the future we can enjoy a walk in the park together. 

  

Looking out over South River Falls.

Jesus Calling.

It's Hump Day! And I am supa pumped to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I love having an awesome 9-5 job with an air conditioned office, but I'm also looking forward to the weekend.

It's been a very interesting week, well month. I said goodbye to a job that I loved, and started a new one that offers more stability (and benefits). The transition has been a bit overwhelming but I'm acclimating to the change in pace. Heidi, my beautiful girlfriend, has been extremely supportive and should be given an award for dealing with my complaints and stress. Now on to the point of this post...

During my lunch-break today, I was reading through my daily devotional - Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young). The message was as follows:

When things don't go as you would like, accept the situation immediately. If you indulge in feelings of regret, they can easily spill over the line into resentment. Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under my mighty hand. Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding.
I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. In Me you have everything you need, both for this life and for the life yet to come. Don't let the impact of the world shatter your thinking or draw you away from focusing on Me. The ultimate challenge is to keep fixing your eyes on Me, no matter what is going on around you. When I am central in your thinking, you are able to view circumstances from My perspective.

Umm....YES! What an amazing conviction! It's human nature to nit-pick and complain about everything little thing we don't like. I'm definitely guilty of it. Even though I have been thoroughly blessed, my human nature takes over and I find something to be unhappy about. And then I sit down for some quiet time with God and He smacks me across the face and tells me to WAKE UP!

I love that! I love how this ever-evolving relationship with Him can bring me back down to reality and remind me that He has everything, absolutely everything, under control. And the message is true. The hardest challenge is keeping our eyes fixed on Him and trusting in His all-knowing way. I urge you to check out the Scripture associated with this devotional, and find time to lay any worries on the One who has the power to make them all go away!

Scripture: 1 Peter 5:6; John 14:6

a lesson in Love.

November 3, 2012. A day that might seem like an ordinary day to many of you. However, to me, it is the day that I began one of my greatest adventures.

For a long while, I had become convinced that relationships, let alone LOVE, just weren't for me. I hadn't had much luck in the category and figured I probably was in the small percentage of men who grow up to become the creepy guy who's house all the kids were afraid to go near, fearful they'd never make it home alive. It's a tough thought to swallow, but I just merely accepted my fate and moved on.

Much to my surprise, God had another plan for me.

As I sat at home watching the X Factor with my roommates, my phone let loose a buzz. "Hi, Phil!" The girl on the other end of the message was surely as nervous as I was. (This "encounter" had been set up the day before by her sister.) I was too nervous to respond, but knew I needed to make a witty reply in order to keep her interested.

"Hey there chica!"   Smooth. I know.

I would love to post all the messages we exchanged that night, but I don't think Google will allow me that large of a blog post. All you need to know is that nearly seven months later, that preppy blonde is still sending the butterflies in my stomach flying.

I think it's easy for most guys to misinterpret God's hope for relationships between men and women. "Relationship" is the most important thing to God. Think about it! We were created by love and through love to be loved and to give love. Love changes us. It creates a reaction that provides energy, both emotional and spiritual, for life. Relationship is intended by God to be an experience that exposes us, transforms us, and mends us.

This woman that God has placed in my life has taught me these things and more. I think of how closed off I allowed myself to get, and how with love I accepted vulnerability. I remember the times when I hid true feelings, and how with love I became who He created me to be. I look back on the moments of brokenness, and how with love I have been pieced back together.

I have been blessed by the past seven months. And to ignore that truth would make me a fool. I know that the Lord has much more for me to learn, and He will surely place moments before me that teach me to be humble. But I rest confidently on His promise to never lead me down a road or path I am not capable of meneuvering.

No Excuses.

To say that I have fallen off the radar would be a HUGE understatement; my last post on here dates back all the to October which is highly unacceptable! While my absence from my blog may seem unwarranted, let me assure you that I have had many good reasons.

My life has been nothing short of interesting, consisting of various twists and turns, roadblocks and moments of joy and delight. I've walked along paths I never imagined for myself. And I have faced obstacles that have undoubtedly shaken my faith to its core. Yet, all the while my God has stood faithfully by my side, flowing words of encouragement into my wondering heart.

I now am finding myself back at the keyboard, excited about adventures that lie before me. My hope is that you all will return here often to hear the stories, see the pictures and, ultimately, marvel as the Lord's plan unfolds before me.

I look forward to sharing with you all again very soon. Until then, enjoy an adventure of your own.


Fondly,

Phiz

leap of faith.

I have this friend.  Some of you may know him.  His name is Peter.  And one day, (in Matthew 14:22-32) the Lord spoke through Jesus, and told Peter to step out of a boat and walk on water. Through a leap of faith, he walked on the water, but not without stumbling first.  However, despite his stumble, he still defied the laws of nature.

If someone were to ask me to describe my summer working at a Boy Scout Camp, I would have to say:  IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH. I worked as a whitewater raft guide, on the New River Gorge in Fayetteville, WV.  On the days I wasn’t rafting, I was working at Camp Powhatan in Pulaski, VA.  My employer…the Boy Scouts of America.  Now I myself was never a scout, but I have many friends who were, and my best friend happens to be an Eagle Scout.

I set off not knowing exactly what I would be getting myself into, but that’s what intrigued me!  It was a leap of faith.  For the first time, I was up against something that I had no prior knowledge of.  I spent two weeks at raft guide training, which proved to be the most difficult two weeks of my life, complete with losing 15 pounds.  My fellow trainees and I completed 28 trips in 14 days, along with swift water rescue training and various other certifications.  But I believe the hardest test, was the test against my faith.

During my prior semester in school, my faith grew immensely and I’d like to say that I had done a fairly good job at being an okay example to others who may be struggling with their faith.  However, when you’re forced to live in a 5x6 tent for two weeks, things begin to look pretty dim.  Now I knew I was strong enough to complete the training, but when the physical and mental exhaustion set in, I began to lose faith.  Faith in myself, and faith in God. I knew that He was there watching over me, but I sometimes wondered if He was actually helping me out any. I fought with these thoughts for a couple days and then as the second week drew to an end, I was dealt a huge revelation.

One of my close friends, Grace McAbee, a fellow Halifax native was there training with me.  Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Why on earth would a girl want to put herself in such a tough situation?”  She came because of her own leap of faith.

In order to become a raft guide, you have to pass two tests.  So as Grace began her second test of training, spirits were high.  But as she dropped into the first warm-up rapid of the day, something went wrong.  She lost her brace and slipped out of the raft and into a re-circulating hole.  After being held under for nearly a minute, she finally emerged gasping for breath.  Her face said it all.  The lack of color in her skin, and the short gasps were enough to make even the most experienced guide tremble.

I talked to her later that day, and she had this to say:  “Lamentations 3: 54-58.”

Ok?  I don’t really know where that came from, but I’ll take it. When I got back to my tent, I grabbed my Bible and looked up the passage.

"The waters closed over my head, and I thought I was about to be cut off.  I called your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit.  You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.”  You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.”  O Lord, you took up my case; you redeemed my life."

What else is there to say?  From the depths of the pit, God called out to Grace and said do not fear; have faith!  Faith is defined as believing in something that cannot necessarily be seen.  Even though I sometimes felt like God wasn’t directly helping me, I soon realized that through Grace’s accident, God was telling me not to worry.  He was there!

Getting the chance to work at Boy Scout camp, gave me the amazing opportunity to meet a lot of great people.  I was privileged to get to teach many scouts, a lot of whom I can still remember their names.  During week two, I met a kid named Knick.  He was the class clown of the troop and by the end of the week, I felt like I had finally gotten across to him.

All week he had been getting picked on by the older guys, so needless to say he didn’t trust them very much.   He was deathly afraid of heights as well.  Now in my program, New River Adventure, we have a two days devoted to Low Cope and High Cope.  Low Cope teaches team-building, while High Cope pushes you to reach and overcome personal goals.  So when our High Cope Day arrived Knick was very apprehensive.  He ended up completing the course fine and had a great rest of the week.

After the closing campfire, we all decided to meet up to say our goodbyes.  We went around the circle and stated our high of the week and what we had learned, everyone except for Knick.  So we all eventually said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.  As I was walking away, Knick walked up to me with tears in his eyes and said: “Phil, thank you.”

“For what?”  I asked him, confused.

“For teaching me how to trust.”

I can honestly say that nothing feels better than hearing someone tell you that you made an impact in their life.

Knick placed his faith in me, and in turn placed his faith in God.  He saw something in me that he found easy to relate to, and I owe this God.  God gave me the opportunity to teach someone younger than me how to have faith in something greater than me.  Knick grew a little closer to God that day, whether he knew it or not.

Now, while Knick’s story will forever remain with me, I have to admit that the pinnacle of my summer came during the final week of camp.  You see I have this new friend.  You don’t know him, but his name is James.  James has cerebral pausey and has never been able to swim, climb stairs without help, or even climb a ladder.

I met James on a Sunday, and by Wednesday, he had made an impact on my life that I will forever carry.  I was working the High Cope course on Wednesday and James and his father had come to give it a try.  While his dad was a little nervous about the course, James jumped right in line.  His only goal was to make to the top of what’s called the Giant’s Ladder.  The Giant’s Ladder is the type of ladder where the rungs get farther and farther apart the high you go.  Now after about 15 minutes, he was 40 feet in the air, having completed his goal.

With a smile on his face, he continued on with the course, much to everyone’s surprise.  Pushing through a few slips here and there, James managed to make it all the way to what’s called “The Leap of Faith” (it’s two platforms about 3 ½ feet apart that you have to jump across).  This is the sixth element of the course.  He looked down at me, with his eyes wide and full of excitement, and a huge grin on his face, and asked, “You got me?”

“Yes,” I replied.

He then responded with, “You sure you got me?”

I think James embodies the way Christians view God.  We want to do so many adventurous things, and we set these lofty goals for ourselves, and yet we always have trouble trusting.  We come to the edge of some mountain in life, and we ask, “You got me?”  “Are you sure you got me?”

The answer is, YES!  He’s got us!  Most Christians are so afraid of what someone is going to think of them that they can’t just trust…they can’t jump!  Sure, we go to church every Sunday and occasionally we say a prayer or two for someone in need.  But how far from that do we actually go?  How much more are we really willing to put out there?

My guess is that we’d all love to do more than we do, but it’s just not convenient with our schedules.  Or maybe our excuse is, “Well so-and-so isn’t doing it, so why should I?”  When God puts us in challenging situations, we cower away with our tails tucked between our legs.  But why?  Because we’re far too afraid, and comfortable with our lives, to trust that God knows what He’s doing.

After about three minutes of going back and forth with James, I finally looked up at him and asked, “James, do you trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you trust that God is gonna keep you safe?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then, what’s there to be afraid of?”

And he jumped.  It only took him about two seconds to make it to the other side, but for everyone watching, time seemed to stand still (as cliché as it sounds).  It was a once in a lifetime moment that I will never forget.  I tear up now just thinking about it.  Even though James didn’t complete the entire course, it doesn’t matter.  He accomplished his goal and then some.  James taught me something that day that I didn’t learn from reading about Peter in the Bible.

He took a leap of faith that day, and it’s one that I think we all can learn from.  It’s not about whether you guide rafts through class V rapids, teach kids about team-building, or sell hamburgers at McDonalds.  It’s all about taking an adventure.  Setting a goal and reaching it.  Like Peter walking on water, or Knick trusting his fellow scouts, or James climbing a ladder, it’s about confronting a challenging situation and putting trust in the Lord.

So the next time you find yourself on the edge of a high cliff, or at the head of an unmarked trail, will you choose to turn and go the other way, or take a leap of faith?

ode to the nice guys.

The following post was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in COD to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

i can't sing loud enough.

A couple years ago, a good friend of mine introduced me to a song that made me speechless.  Phil Wickham, a contemporary Christian artist, released his album Heaven and Earth, and with it a song that embraces you with all of the wonder and majesty that Christ has to offer.

Cielo, which is Spanish for Heaven, is a simple yet beautiful song that is raw in its melodies and lyrics.  The first time I heard it, I was simply taken back by what he was saying and how the words were truly what I have been feeling in my heart.

i'm walking through the bright white gates
breathing in and out your grace
all around me melodies rise
that echo with the joy inside
so i start to sing
but i cant sing loud enough
i can't sing loud enough
when i'm singing for You my God
i can't sing loud enough
i can't sing loud enough
when i'm singing for You my God

Knowing that even in the loudest of circumstances, God can still hear my call to him, is something that is crazy to think about.  I know personally I often find myself getting caught up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle, and at times forget to take a minute and deep breath, and just be in the presence of God.

with a thunder roll and a brilliant light
your glory boasts and the heavens shine
the saints and angels stand in awe
captured by the beauty of it all
so i fall to my knees
but i can't bow low enough
i can't bow low enough
at the vision of You my God
i can't bow low enough
i can't bow low enough
at the vision of You my God

There are times when all I want to do is fall to my knees and simply praise God for everything He has given me and blessed me with.  And it's difficult to express exactly how you feel, but I've found ways to be "exuberant" towards God, without necessarily falling down to my knees in the middle of the office.  I look at it as I can do the exact same thing on the inside.  I can shout and jump and scream as loudly as I want (internally) and know that God still hears me.

i can't hold it all inside
i'm reaching for the One who brought me out of death and into life
but i can't lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when i'm reaching for You my God
i can't lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when i'm reaching for You my God
oh i'm reaching for You my God
i'm reaching for You
i'm reaching for You
i'm reaching for You my God

I've recently been attempting to spiritually "reach" higher and higher.  I strive to get closer and more intimate with God everyday.  I know we all desire a closer relationship with Him, and often times we find ourselves slipping.  However, as long as we focus on our personal relationship with Christ, then everything else will fall into place.  The reason we often slip, is because we get side-tracked and worried about other things.

I'm setting out to live a more Christ-filled life than I have been.  I want to sing louder...I want to bow lower...I want to reach higher.
Check out the video to the song, Cielo by Phil Wickham here!

just do something.

Lately, I have been praying quite hard about my next phase in life. And though a lot is still unclear to me, I know that God is pulling at my heart to do something BIG! I have been amazingly blessed with a family that loves and supports me, and friends that are there to turn to in times of trouble. I have shelter to keep me warm and food to keep me nourished.  And most of all, I have a God that is loving and comforting. A God who’s grace is flowing over me, even as we speak.

So what now? Where do I go from here?

In Matthew 25:35 the Lord says,

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in..."

How awesome is it that God gave and taught us so much? It truly astounds me. However, I’m also blown away by the fact that though we’ve been given so much, we still cannot move past our own petty grievances. We have the opportunity right now to stand up and do something. Yet we hide behind our desks, T.V.’s, etc, and deliver excuse after excuse. It’s time to live the way Christ taught us to.

Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.  -Deuteronomy 15:10 

I urge you all to “Send It On”. I pray that we all take the time to pray, and ask God where we should go next. My hope is that this one spark will start a fire. To listen to an awesome song that embodies this movement, click here.

we've reached the end.

Well folks, we've done it! Today is the final day of the I Am Second Challenge. It may have taken us more than [22] days, but we' did it in the time that God ordained. I am hopeful that we each can move forward putting into practice the lessons we learned through these videos. And guess what? There are more videos not included in the challenge online.

One common thread throughout all of these videos has been "difficulties". A person who is Second learns from difficulties. Who can you tell today something you learned from a tough time in your life? Watch today's challenge featuring Tony Dungy by clicking here.

I've loved getting to share this challenge with all of you and invite you each to challenge me daily! I will continue to pray that God place challenges in your path that draw you close to Him. As we see in James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Day [21] of I Am Second

I'm not sure if you all follow American Idol, but today's video challenge features the fourth place finalist from Season 7, Jason Castro. I always find it inspiring when I watch American Idol, X Factor and other talent competitions, and see that competitors use their faith to change the lives of their fans. Today's challenge poses this question: What would you say if you were in the white chair? Write it out so it is clear in your head. To watch the video, click here!

Day [20] of I Am Second

I wish I could pinpoint the exact number of people who have been exposed to the I Am Second [22] Day Challenge via this blog. My hope and prayer for this blog, and the challenge, is that God will use it to reach a countless number of people.

In today's video, which you can see by clicking here, NFL quarterback Colt McCoy talks about his search for other people open to spiritual things. Who have you been searching for? Who have you sent the films to? Make a list. Who else needs to be on it? Ask God to work in their lives.

a touching message on Day [19].

Tamera Jolee is dying of cancer but lives her life with complete openness and joy. Your challenge for today: Write out all the things you love about God and thank him. Also, thank the people in your life. Make today a day of thanks. To watch today's video, click here!

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" -Matthew 6:26-27